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“Love and marriage are not just about a penis and a vagina.It’s about a connection of souls, faith, family and children.“I’ve really paid attention to being in the present with Megan and finding her beauty and uniqueness.It’s been a process, but we’ve had to go through the difficult times to get to the good times.“When Curtis first told me, it was very upsetting and confusing, and I didn’t know who to talk to at the time,” explains Tera, a stay-at-home mother who describes coming to terms with the situation as “a journey.” “But because I love him so much, I never once considered divorce. “I love and trust him completely,” adds Tera, although she knows that Curtis, an attorney, did have relationships with other men before coming clean about his sexuality.“And, depending on their ages, our kids [ages 9 through 16] know about the SSA to varying degrees.But it’s the husbands — not the wives — who start to flirt with him, suggestively joking that he milk a goat by hand to make cheese for their salads.“Well, he’s a very good-looking guy,” gushes Jeff Bennion, 44, as he and his buddy, Pret Dahlgren, 32, eye the hunky specimen returning to the kitchen.
“It’s the year 2015 and there is no one-size-fits-all,” says the author of 15 relationships books, including “Ask for What You Want and Get It” and “I’m Worth Loving and Here’s Why.” “We learn to live with each other’s idiosyncracies when we love another person.
“But to us, it’s not a big deal and just part of the way we live our lives.
“My wife and I love each other and our son very much, and that’s what counts.” Likewise, parents of four Curtis and Tera Brown, both 43, claim Curtis’ SSA, which he finally plucked up the courage to reveal 15 years into their 20-year marriage, has only brought them closer. “Now I think my husband and I have a better sex life than any of our straight friends that we know.” In common with pals like the Bennions and Dahlgrens (fellow members of an SSA support group in their home city of Salt Lake City, Utah), the duo subscribes to the “You can look as long as you don’t touch” approach.
But thankfully, we’ve moved beyond that.” She admits that after they wed and their relationship finally became physical, she was the most concerned about intimacy issues.
“The first thing that went through my mind was, ‘Will he be attracted to me? “At the same time, though, it was, ‘Well, at least he doesn’t have anybody else to compare me to!