Dating friend guy
Problem is, your feelings for him and what your relationship are just an illusion.
The reality is that when someone hasn’t healed past hurts and relationship wounds, they really aren’t ready to get into a new relationship.
See, while you were listening to him sulk about his broken heart and smoothing his hair, new girl appeared out of nowhere as a limited-edition item. But the new girl who just entered the picture is completely fresh – he can act like whomever he wants to appear to be and she’ll accept that that’s who he is. Sure, these arrangements usually end up melting down (maybe in a week, a month or a year), but during that time he gets to postpone dealing with his issues and can numb his pain with a simple girl who doesn’t unearth any skeletons… 3) The new girl had the advantage of a fresh “mystique” – that is, he doesn’t know anything about her and she put up a dazzling image that completely seduced him.
Sure, maybe you weren’t drawing unicorns and rainbows with his name surrounded by hearts in your notebook, but you are definitely a strong believer that you’re “meant to be together.” As romantic as all that sounds, it actually damages your chances for success in actually starting something.
It's a well-thought-out strategy: His goal is to eventually (and hopefully soon!
) get your friends to say, "He's such a great guy—you should go out with him before some other girl snatches him up! He's not trying to win you over, so he's not afraid to bust on your outfit.
MORE: How Guys Deal With Breakups Now there have been times where the so-called damaged guy jumps into a relationship seemingly out of the blue after months or even years of lamenting about how “damaged” he is.
This can happen for a few reasons: 1) The new girl he jumps in with completely step out of that “mode” or “funk” he was caught up in. Sometimes a guy just wants a vacation from himself and his problems.