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I have not “lost” the guy I’ve been dating for the past 3 months, but I need to fix some of the mistakes I was starting to make. and 1 in Oct.) when we saw each other on Saturday and Sunday (but no sleepover) we have only seen each other once a week.He’s a recent widower (wife died of cancer in June 2010.) We started dating just after Labor Day. We live about an hour and 1/2 apart and he has a very high level job and a big house to take care of (and a dog.) There has been no sex yet but lots of “foreplay.” He says he always waits to have sex until he’s more sure of the woman.NOTE: I wrote this post about my experience dating women in Medellin back in April of 2013.Over the past 5 years I’ve dated many Colombian women and I frequently update this post.Factor in the dearth of older men – there are literally 3 times more single women over the age of 65 – and, well, a decent looking widower doesn’t stay available for very long. And if he fails, he risks losing the woman he cares about.Next, something I know (and have stated repeatedly) about men – of all ages: We do what we want. Which means that even if many widowers throw themselves into new relationships because of their tremendous loneliness, THIS one seems to be functioning more like your basic super-successful middle-aged man. You can give him an extra-wide berth because he’s newly single, but be forewarned: a man who is newly single (and is keeping a little distance) is probably going to want to get a greater sampling of what’s available instead of diving right back into commitment.I want to see more of him at this point (3 months,) especially on Saturday nights.I made that need known last weekend in a calm, rational way.
But this is the norm for widowers –for one of two reasons: either the marriage itself wasn’t that healthy and he was immediately ready to move on, OR, like men of a certain age, he put everything had into his marriage and nothing into any other relationships. As such, you are presumably the first woman he’s been with for many years.I am actually Colombian, my family is Colombian, and more importantly (aside from my height, 6’2″) I look Colombian.I have lived my entire life, barring the past 5 years of course, in Southern California.I am aware of the underworld of sex tourism in Colombia and I am aware that there are many strip clubs, and brothels in Medellin.Strippers and hookers are not the type of girls that I date, so I will not be referring to that in this post. My situation is a little different than most foreigners here in Colombia.